03.28.2013

Ask and ye shall receive.

An employee at the Millard KFC has told police that when he left for the bank at noon on March 19th with the “cash” deposits for the past few day he made a couple stops at some local watering holes for oh six hours.

The next day he discovered the money bag was missing. He said he was using a borrowed sports car who’s doors didnt lock. Nice car. Did your friend name it the General Lee?

Here is the good part about this. This story is so good not only did he admit he was a dumb ass but he also told police he was drinking and driving to the point he forgot what happened between 6 p.m. and 9.a.m. the next day. Can you see the employee of the month picture being removed as we speak? Wonder if the bartenders got a craving for fried chicken every time he paid for a round.  Ok, it isn’t right to assume.

No arrests have been made at this point.

Another question? Why would you be holding six days worth of deposits at the store anyway?  St Pattys bar tab?

Mongo Torrey

https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Mongo-Torrey/198612423493026?fref=ts

 

 

 

03.27.2013

Well the candidates for Mayor held the last forum before the primary at the Omaha Playhouse. Might have been more fun at the Iowa Playhouse except to add more fodder for the next fireman sponsored t-shirt. Ok that was a cheap shot, but I had to get it in now.

City planning was on the table with Diamond Jim touting his “well” used bike lanes. I still say if you are going to dedicate a lane of roadway to bikes they have to join in the wheel tax parade.

The subject of urban sprawl came up and exposed a land grab disguised as a land bank where the city under Jimbos direction would “acquire” (confiscate) vacant lots on the North side and then sell them to developers with “incentives” to develop them. Anyone smell subsided housing? If you are going to give someone incentive then give it to somebody like Habitat for Humanity whose good work involves sweat equity and community volunteerism. But first, mow the parks you say you don’t have money to take care of before you “acquire” more land because once you grab it you have to maintain it.

Jean Stothert defended the push West saying people have a right to desire bigger houses with bigger yards (and higher tax bills which result in more revenue).  The truth is, Omaha has contained itself rather well over the years. The neighborhoods have stacked out West quite nicely. A great point was made that as the city continues to put a higher tax burden on people with inadequate services to offer for the fee, people will continue to move outside the city limits and reach. Just ask all the firemen that live out in Papillion and points elsewhere.

April 2nd brings the field to two and then the mud starts to fly.

I wasn’t ready to endorse anyone yet except I’m tossing my support in District 2 City Council to Tariq Al-Amin over incumbant Ben Gray and the others. Why you ask? I know Tariq has been sand in the vaseline at times but that’s good. He makes people think. I know the man and he isn’t afraid to let you know where he stands. He believes in North Omaha and the people who reside there. And he believes in the untapped potential in his district. It’s time to shake things up effectively in the district and Tariq can shake things up. Plus he pays his taxes.  Best of luck my friend.

Since the video of Omaha Police rolling an Omaha man surfaced, calls for the reinstatement of the police auditor had renewed. Even some Council members are rethinking their position. As long as it isn’t Tristin Bond there may be some basis to this.

One officer has been put on paid leave which translates into, pack your shit and start looking for a job in the mall cop department.

Councilman Ben I want the spotlight Gray said the Police Chief needs to keep the public informed on the investigation. So Ben you are saying screw due process and trial by media, right? Give the Chief a chance to do his job. If he blows it then call him out on it. He has put his ass on the stump by saying he will get to the bottom of it. My feeling is he has something to prove about being the right man for the job and you are going to get an honest response from him that the Police Union may not like. Not everything happens instantly and you don;t get immediate gratification. He has a duty to be thorough and accurate.  He has the rope, lets see what he does with it.

Ok that;s it for today. Please somebody do something stupid so we can lighten things up around here again.

Mongo Torrey

https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Mongo-Torrey/198612423493026?fref=ts

 

03.22.13

First up  Hats off and a standing ovation to our smoke eaters who battled the 3 alarm apartment fire near 144th and Maple.

When a ceiling collapsed on two of the firemen a rescue crew jumped in gear and risked their lives to save them, then also found themselves is harms way but their training and exemplary skills got everyone out safe and sound.

This was the second fire at this complex in four months and watching the blaze and how the building went up like Clark Griswold’s Christmas tree at the hands of Uncle Louis, one has to ask if there is something wrong with the construction of these buildings? Nah couldn’t be. Why they passed inspection.

Stay tuned for the Fire Marshall’s findings.

Unfortunately I have to comment on a story reported by KETV about the possessions of a fallen Marine being stolen from a storage facility near 90th and Maple.

Police are investigating the break in and I have an idea if they locate the perps in this case. Whats say instead of jail or probation maybe we “accidentally” send said perps to a Marine facility for use as dummy’s in a training exercise?

Have to fire up this one from Lincoln.

Lincoln firefighters we called to a duplex fire started by children playing with a lighter. They managed to contain the flames to one unit but the adjoining residence sustained smoke damage and a blazing operation of the growing variety.

The firemen called police after uncovering a pot growing operation. Two people were arrested for manufacturing a controlled substance. Cheech and Chong will be making a movie about them, Up in Smoke II, Where’s Your Lighter Dude?

Creighton takes on Cincinnati at 1:45 today. So managers prepare for a rash of “I don’t feel so well’s” around noon. See you all at Buffalo Wild Wings.

Mongo Torrey

03.21.2013 Primary Getting Dicey But MTV Star Provides Distraction From Real News

Stop the presses!!   Stop the presses  !!!

The Omaha areas resident MTV star has made another poor life choice. Farrah Abraham, the Council Bluffs native, who was once the star of 16 and knocked up or something like that, was picked up Tuesday around 1 a.m. for DUI near 11th and Howard.

Farrah blew a .147 which put her at near double the legal limit. Party on Wayne, Party on Garth.

The superstar was also the star of the spinoff program, Teen Mom and will soon be featured in MTV newest pilot ” Someone Bitchslap My Brain Start Please”

All together now “She’s turning her life around and looking to a positive future and hoping to get a recording contract”.

If you were at the public forum over at Anthony’s last night you know this primary is getting better by the minute. The candidates for Mayor sparred with each other and the gallery of voters who pretty much sent the message “Get your poop together folks we are tired of the same ole song and dance”.

I’m not ready to endorse anyone but I did cross a couple of names off the list.

Mayor Diamond Jim reenforced he’s out . His solution to everything was invent a tax and over regulate everyone. Jean Stothert took some heat over her support for the city’s new contractor requirement that was written so poorly and is so costly to local small businesses and property managers that it needs to go back to the drawing board. I’m not ready to cross her off just yet but she needs to get back on task and promote her lower tax stance and explain how she plans to move the city forward better.

Brad Ashford was all over the map. I scratched the line across his name so hard it tore the note pad. Brad never met a law telling you how to live he didn’t like. And after listening to him I got the impression Brad will say anything depending on which side of his finger gets cold when there is a breeze.

Dave Nabity drew a good response when he questioned taxes, regulations and his stance on gun ownership. “An armed public is a safe public”.

Dan Welch also drew a good response with his getting union contracts under control position.

10 days the mess gets sorted out a little better.

On one other note, after seeing Chris Jerram’s reaction to his folly last Sunday, Midtown would be better served if they voted for the other person or for that matter wrote in someone with an active brain scan to represent them. Ann Boyle the door is open. My lord what am I saying?

Powerball is at $320 million. Gets your tickets early. Before the next Mayor sets the tax so the cash payout is somewhere around a buck fifty.

Mongo Torrey

Chris Jerram City Councils Resident Retard

Here I was hoping the Omaha mayoral race would sort itself out before I had to waste precious minutes writing about insignificant players and then Chris Jerram shows up.

On Sunday Councilman Jerram was photographed in an Omaha Bar (McFlys) holding up a t-shirt that depicted fellow Councilwoman Jean Stothert on a stripper pole with a caption “Stop Stripping Our Tax Dollars”. Nice Chris but not smart.

Yes, It’s only a t-shirt. Some not so smart Fire Union Member thought this up and then a few more of them liked it so much they had them printed. No big deal. It isn’t like I don’t laugh at the tasteless joke all the time. In fact I will cut the firemen some slack on this. Their job alone earns them a Mulligan or three.

But Chris. Nope.

Midtown you keep putting this boneheaded brain fart back on the council. What does this say about your intellectual prowess? Think about it. This is the same idiot who proposed an inspection tax on satellite dishes and the hiring of city workers to go inspect them. Remember that folly. “I was walking around my neighborhood and noticed all of these dishes and thought my lord there is electricity running to them”.  I think that was after he just finished watching “From Russia With Love” on the clueless network. Thank god that proposal was throat punched into the trash can.

Now Chris is extending an apology to Jean. “I was wrong to have my picture taken with that shirt”. I have a better idea Chris. How about you saddle up your bike and hit the unused lanes of roadway we have coughed up for the cause and pedal your tubby butt around town sporting a thong and bikini top wearing a sign that says “Forgive me Jean”.

And to my Fire Buddies. You know who you are. We have this debate. Nobody is stripping your tax dollars. You have to live in the city of Omaha for that to be the case. Bazinga.  You folks who reside in Papillion, La Vista, Gretna, Bellevue, Bennington and outside the mil levee should hush a little. and stop playing the danger card so often. Because I know a few good proud young men crawling through a dessert right now defending the good ole US of A who don’t have on third the pension you got on the books and the difference is people are shooting at them and trying to blow their ass off the planet daily. Dial it back a notch.

For you libs who find the shirt funny, stop playing the “We care about women’s rights card”.

As for my un politically correct minded self, yes I used the word RETARD. If Chris had a diagnosed learning deficiency I would have been more sensitive but in this case the shoe fits and he wears it proudly.

 

Mongo Torrey

Counciltucky Mom Arrested After You Tube Fight

Fresh off the blotter of the epically stupid, a Council Bluffs candidate for parent of the year was arrested for contributing to the delinquency of a minor and child endangerment after she encouraged her 13 year old son to fight a 12 year old schoolmate while she shouted instructions. Too bad for her she isn’t qualified to be the ring man for Frankie “Glass Jaw” Delvino.

The fight was recorded by another child then posted on You Tube. She can be heard shouting “pull his hair, punch him, my moneys on my kid.” A fool and their money soon parted, the kid should have taken the bet.

The younger kid turned the tables on the bully and only when the 12 year old got Tubby the Twinkie Killer on the ground and was smacking the stupid out of him did she intervene and then punched the younger kid in the face. Hate to think of what happened to her kid once he got home after loosing the fight.

Whats troubling is the fact that the Twin City Trailer Park Queen stood with a group of children and watched this unfold and then took part in the actions. What a fine example of motherhood. I’ve seen the tape. The younger kid was smaller but clearly faster and better equipped. Mom can be clearly seen standing in the front row, easy to spot as she has clearly exceeded her bakers dozen limit at Krispy Kreme, and her shrill voice dominates the audio.

Mom’s out after posting a $2000 bond.

Next time mom, bring a towel and throw it in before the first punch gets thrown. You may not have the mental capacity to grasp the long term effects your spewing on your child however don’t make him the butt of jokes at school by giving kids your stupid ass to make fun of as well and fueling a long term anger issue inside your offspring.

Mongo Torrey