BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Muppet Mike held a show with the Metropolitan Hospitality Association to talk about his plans for the new downtown ball park. He was still quiet on most details however he brazenly told the attendees that he “Highly doubted the amount of hotel tax in Omaha is going to scare anyone away.” The Hotel and Motel managers told him the were not in favor of a room tax increase.
Folks, do you really think he cares?
If you thought you were having a bad day be glad you were not the 25 year old woman who hit an object at 102nd and West Maple Road at 1:30 a.m. Sunday. That object was a State Patrol Car that had pulled over another driver. Yep you guessed it, DUI and on top of that,open container. The officer escaped injury.
Attorney General John Bruning has asked the State Supreme Court to reconsider it’s ruling on the electric chair. In his letter the AG listed 5 errors in the ruling one of which states that the Nebraska Constitution now offers criminals more protection than the U.S. Constitution.
No word on if a new hearing will be granted and yes Ernest is attempting to stick his nose in it. Be sure to watch for the release of the new blockbuster “Ernest didn’t take the Bar Exam”.
The vote for dumbass of the day goes out to the 31 year old man who was arrested for attempting to rob the Creighton Federal Credit Union for the third time this month. Police had the facility staked out and apprehended the man as he exited with an undetermined amount of cash.
Chrissy Edwards as he is now known in prison, wants a new trial. Edwards was convicted of the death of Jessica O’Grady and sentenced to 100 years in jail. Her body was never found but large amounts of her blood were discovered all over Edwards bedroom and 0n a Bankok Battle Sword in his closet.
Edwards claims he is entitled to a new trial because he was not allowed to bring up relationships with other men that O’Grady had. Guess they would only matter is the men had access to your bedroom now wouldn’t it Chris. Be a stand up guy and let her family know what you did with her body.
Delayno Shackelford was given 6 more years in prison after pleading no contest to manslaughter of an unborn child. Delayno kicked his 8 month pregnant girlfriend 2 years ago causing the child to die.
Creighton bounced back from a loosing streak to beat Missouri State last night at the Qwest 88-67. Senator Ben Nelson delivered a pre-game pep talk to the team (Win or I’m taxing your scholarship)
And the Lancers beat Lincoln 3-2 in overtime at the Ice Box. Barry Almeida got the game winner.
Late Update: FedEx just stopped by with a copy of an incident report. After reading Goober’s version of what happened last Saturday we, well I, have come to the conclusion that this was a stupid incident involving irrational hot heads and even as much fun as I or we could have poking fun of the situation, we are going to let it be. (In other words I know someone involved and frankly it would be to easy ).
However reading the version that I was provided I still wonder how long it took Bubba the town cop to write it out in crayon. No wonder details are sketchy, I believe this report contains stick figure pictures of what happened though they are listed as “artist rendition”in the evidence column.
Now you can all stop emailing me, I did not throw anyone under the bus, but I could leave a copy for Mongo if you want me to.
More later…………………….
Bugs Manderson
32 responses so far ↓
db // February 20, 2008 at 7:21 am
It’s too early to be awake. Tell me a story?
(recovering from that nasty flu here, guard yourselves!)
eyeonomaha // February 20, 2008 at 7:25 am
We have a couple in the office that have contracted it as well.
Have a ever told you the story of a man named Jed. Poor mountaineer that could barely keep his family fed….
Bugs Manderson
db // February 20, 2008 at 7:46 am
I’m looking at North Korean forced labor camps on Google maps to make myself feel better about working in a construction zone at 7am.
And the name “Shackelford” always comes with class, doesn’t it?
eyeonomaha // February 20, 2008 at 7:53 am
Yep Delayno and class never got mentioned in the same sentence often.
We just wish Edwards would let go of the denial phase and let Jesica’s family have some closure.
How does this flu thing start out? We have two out of the office and one that looks like Michael Jackson after a bleaching treatment.
Bugs Manderson
db // February 20, 2008 at 8:08 am
It starts with waking up one morning and thinking you might be dead. I recommend hearty doses of the nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, stuffy head, how-the-hell-did-I-end-up-on-the-kitchen-floor medicine along with liberal amounts of C-SPAN/NETV2 to help you rest.
And yes, I totally said “liberal”.
eyeonomaha // February 20, 2008 at 8:17 am
We get enough C-Span here in the office. PBS I will pass on. Like NPR I can only take so much monotone drivel before I find a solid object to slam my head against.
At least you didn’t say CNN. To much of that causes one to change thier name to Wolf.
Bugs Manderson
db // February 20, 2008 at 8:28 am
But… but… you’ll miss all this excitement!
Your work sounds far better than mine. The only wall of TVs we have show foreign language stations pulled from satellite. Though Chinese cartoons are kind of a trip at 7am when you’ve had no caffeine, they do not keep me awake at my desk.
eyeonomaha // February 20, 2008 at 8:38 am
There is only so much Bloomberg you can watch before someone grabs the remote and starts looking for Get Smart reruns around here…..though today it is much like a ghost town.
Looking at that agenda it seems like maybe 7 or 8 people have bills and the rest are hiding down at P.O. Pears waiting for the vote.
Bugs Manderson
Frank // February 20, 2008 at 11:09 am
Edwards is grasping at straws. Who’s footing the bill for his lawyer anyway?
I agree, he needs to just tell what he did with her body and let her family have some peace.
Benito (Pepe's Uncle) // February 20, 2008 at 11:13 am
You whimps. If it happened to the B22a team you would have backed the bus over them several times. Lets hear the details. Or is it because you have someone on the team?
Gotcha
eyeonomaha // February 20, 2008 at 11:14 am
Guess again Benito but nice try.
Bugs Manderson
Benito (Pepe's Uncle) // February 20, 2008 at 11:18 am
Go start the bus Go start the bus
Chickens
I bet I am right you have a player on the team. It all adds up. After Captain Underpants gets in trouble you come up with the B22a. Your very critical of the Bantam try-outs and now your covering up what happened. Its a short list now.
Captain Obvious // February 20, 2008 at 11:19 am
Nothing wrong with the Cone of Silence. Sometimes it helps you think clearly! You know it is my week to repeat myself so, I will say it again. I am all for revving up ol’ sparky to help hand out a little punshment but I really don’t understand why no one is taking our wonderful state legislators to task for not proposing a bill to replace it with what is now considered the preferred method of execution. Frankly it should have been done years ago. What… is everyone too busy filing suit against God and trying to parent for us that they really don’t have any concern about subjects that should concern our state government like crime and punishment? What happens to their brains when they go to work in the “Phallus on the Plains?”
eyeonomaha // February 20, 2008 at 11:20 am
Let us know when you figure it out Sherlock Holmes.
Bugs Manderson
Benito (Pepe's Uncle) // February 20, 2008 at 11:21 am
Wow look Captain Underpants shows up all the sudden, go figure.
The list gets shorter and shorter and shorter.
eyeonomaha // February 20, 2008 at 11:24 am
Call it crappy timing on his part and we can asure you he is not one of the founding fathers here however we would welcome him to our staff if he needed a job.
Now Benito get back to you book “Door Greeters for Dummies” and keep trying.
Wow It has to be a full moon.
Bugs Manderson
Benito (Pepe's Uncle) // February 20, 2008 at 11:25 am
Whatever
eyeonomaha // February 20, 2008 at 11:37 am
Not to ignore you Captain I was busy dealing with the moron of the day….
You are correct, the State Senators need to get busy on a replacement be it the Night Night Cocktail, the Hover Room, riding in a car contracted by Health and Human Services…something. But sooner than later.
Bugs Manderson
Lloyd Bentsen // February 20, 2008 at 11:51 am
I know Captain Underpants, I was friends with Captain Underpants and Ill have you know that Captain Obvious is No Captain Underpants.
eyeonomaha // February 20, 2008 at 11:52 am
It is a full moon, Im going to lunch and deal with some normal people.
Bugs Manderson
Captain Obvious // February 20, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Just to clear things up my “cone of silence” was in reference to Bug’s #8 reference to Get Smart and had nothing to do with anything that happened in Sioux City last weekend. I am just a contributor. If I was one of the “Eye Guys” I would have guarded my identity more closely since I have pissed off people from my wife on up! I guarantee that my “secret identity name” does not exist on any Sioux City police reports. No one is covering up anything for me.
eyeonomaha // February 20, 2008 at 3:02 pm
And neither is the Speedo
No Captain your not in the report except for a “tiny” mention of some asshole flying overhead trying to see what the hell was going on….
Bugs Manderson
Agent 86 // February 20, 2008 at 3:20 pm
It’s all a KAOS plot Captain. But hey if your out flying around can you grab some pics of the satellite shooting for us. I hear fox wanted to install a missle cam but the feds said no. Party poopers.
Andy // February 20, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Is there any way you guys can condense this down to a 2-3 hour morning show during drive time? Maybe on XM so you can swear and all that.
I have been reading this crazy shit for a couple of weeks and it’s hard to keep up the entire day.
Captain Obvious // February 20, 2008 at 3:36 pm
When I heard the ruckus, I dashed into the restroom to change into my cape and speedo. Unfortunately I ducked into the wrong one. Some old bat with a Sioux City sweatshirt on clocked me from behind with her purse while I was changing. Ever loose balance with one leg in your speedo and the other only through to the foot? Damn the tile floor was cold. I wish I had put the cape on first. Needless to say, by the time I got out of that room, the incident was over. So was the game. Crap. My head still hurts. Crap.
eyeonomaha // February 20, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Some old bat with a Sioux City sweatshirt on????? Well that narrows it down Mr Crime Fighter, did you even get a tooth count?
Bugs Manderson
Captain Obvious // February 20, 2008 at 3:48 pm
No she and her walker were gone before I could check. Between being smacked in the head with the worlds largest purse and having to deal with the old-lady perfume stench, I had trouble keeping my wits about me. I can tell you that the tennis balls on the back legs of her walker were Penn brand. (do they still make thoes?)
eyeonomaha // February 20, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Are you sure it was a purse and not some other kind of bag? And does this incident now have Sioux City replacing the Gladiators as the new rival?
I should stop because now I am thinking up jokes to go with this story and people will get mad at me for not taking a serious tone about the matter.
Bugs Manderson
Captain Obvious // February 20, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Just so everyone knows, I think that it is serious too but my life is serious and frankly I find humor in all things. I will say things that people will thing irreverant and just wrong at times but frankly if you can’t learn to get a sense of humor, or you will find life to be a lot harder than it needs to be.
My uncle passed away a few years ago. The night before the funeral, we were all going out to eat with my aunt. When asked where she wanted to go for dinner she said, “Frank’s not here, let’s have chinese!”
I have had way too many of those “Bad things happen to good people” incidents in my life. Want to trade stories? I can beat most of you. Here is my point, one day I realized if I couldn’t find anything to laugh at, I would go nuts…. I know…. chicken or the egg.
Just because I or anyone else poke fun at this doesn’t mean that we don’t think it is serious. Sometimes we are just trying to ease the pain of a bad situation. Ever notice who I make fun of the most? It’s me. Since this is a text only medium, and I cannot share pictures, for those of you that are currently pissed off at me… imagine a picture of my naked hairy butt. There you have been mentally mooned now get over it.
eyeonomaha // February 20, 2008 at 4:47 pm
You make fun of yourself just to beat us to it, admit it.
And if you can laugh at yourself you can laugh at anyone…out loud….
What are the first signs of this flu stuff?
Bugs Manderson
Captain Obvious // February 20, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Not sure but don’t trust a fart.
slingblade1979 // February 20, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Cappy,
Did you say imagine a picture of my Naked Hairy Total Lunar Eclipse. It happens tonight between 9:01 and 9:50 PM. Check the skies tonight you Star Gazers.
Leave a Comment