04.16.08 Wednesday

Thanks to a 5-2 vote in the City Council now minors can attend concerts in Omaha venues that sell alcohol and if they are under 18 they can get it if they bring a notarized parental consent form from mom. Do they still need the form if mom is at the bar as well?

This policy will allow places like the Slowdown and the Waiting Room to continue to hold all ages show and give some of the local area perverts a new venue in which to make contact with minors. They seem to have caught on to the ones lurking in our schools.

Speaking of that, a former Norris Middle School teacher plead no contest to 3rd degree sexual assault of a child after having sexual contact with a 14 year old former student in a park at 52nd and B Street. The teacher has since been fired from the school but is free on 10% of $100,000 bond and could face five years in the slammer.

 

A soon to be former employee of MUD has filed a 2 million dollar lawsuit claiming he was discriminated against. The 65 year old man suffers from post traumatic stress disorder (He must have opened his MUD bill) and clinical depression (he must have also listened to the hold message on the MUD phone lines while attempting to reach a real human). The man claims he was passes over for raises and was forced to work in a hostile environment. He filed complaints with the Nebraska Equal Opportunity Commission and the Federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and was promptly put on an involuntary leave of absence and will be terminated June 21st. (Wonder if they will shut off his water on that day too.)

 

And the No-K Coral was all fired up again last night, well at least shots were reported fired in the 42nd and Kansas Ave area. Police found no victims and as usual everyone was so informative.

As warmer weather takes hold we offer a public service to our readers with the Staying Alive After 9:45 No-K Coral Survival Quiz.

What provides better cover in a drive by:

A: Bus Bench

B: Green Recycle Bin

C: 78 Buick

D: Hiding under an overturned infant swimming pool.

 

If a car creeps slowly down your street with a gun barrel sticking out the window you should:

A: Start yelling To Arms To Arms The Crips be coming .

B: Stop, Drop and Crawl behind something.

C: Yell for your white trash neighbor to get his bat and come out on the porch.

D: Check your safety and prepare to return fire.

 

The proper response to reporters questions after an overnight shooting is:

A: He was just starting to turn his life around

B: They didn’t need to kildt him like that.

C: He was the loving father of 12 and never caused any trouble. (Hint this one one comes into play if the victim has less than 5 felony convictions)

D:  Cry for more police protection in the area as long as they don’t pull you over for expired plates .

 

That’s all for now…glad we could help.

 

More later……………………

Bugs Manderson