05.14.08 Wednesday

No big surprises in the Primary yesterday. Jimmy “my staff member didn’t copy and paste it right” Esch will take on Lee Terry again. Somewhat of a surprise but not really, Scott “Go Speed Racer” Kleeb defeated Tony Raimondo pretty handily. Kleeb earned the nod to take on Mike Johanns in November.

 

Police have arrested 3 Omaha youths for the robbery of the Crystal Beverage Mart at 4807 South 20th. Apparently 2 of them entered the store, claimed to have a weapon and stole some liquor. Problem is they didn’t go far to consume their haul and police nabbed them after answering a disturbance call only to find Bombed Billy and his two drunk friends one of which was nice enough to puke in the police cruiser. Lightweight. Two of the perps ages 13 and 16 were taken to the youth detention facility the third was 18 and will be taking the fall for the other 2.

 

Creighton Prep announced that student athletes will have to agree to random drug testing to participate in school sports. Officials say they will be looking for steroid use among their student body. We don’t think the policy goes far enough and call for random testing of the speech, drama and chess teams as well. Mongo called for estrogen testing of the drama team and that was uncalled for.

 

Police say the bullet that struck Taylor Borgeson while he played soccer at the King Science Center did not come from any of the guns recovered in the shoot out a few blocks away. So either they didn’t get all the guns or the gun play in the No-K is so out of control that strays are flying around at 4 in the afternoon for no apparent reason. Ernest is said to have his investigation on the agenda right after he files his complaint along with the ACLU for all the toilet paper in city hall being white.

And as a new feature during sweeps week we will launch our own EYE team investigative reporters.  Watch for their feature story’s on where pocket lint really comes from and why your hockey fees jumped 10 bucks this year.

 

More from this roving band of jackasses later………………..

Bugs Manderson