Bantam B-22A

 Special Update   SUMMER CLINIC

B22A  Holy Rollers Craps and Life Skills Clinic

 

Team-After the season that we had, we have realized that hockey is not going to be the route for a career or college for these players.  Maynard’s Dad, Mongo, has been kind enough to step forward and with the help of his church we have put together the Holy Rollers Craps and Life Skills Clinic!

I am very excited about this and the clinic will have many important offerings such as:

“Jesus-those are great odds!”,  “How to be the Ghost-hiding from Guido when you owe money”, “Rapture-21”, “Hellfire-how to collect on a debt”, and “Holy Rolling-the Art of Craps.  These are just a few of the great offerings the church has put together for the players!  There will be more info as well and a full course list will be sent out to registered participants, but it will include many more life skills.

We realize that some of the Dads on this team could also benefit from these clinics so there is a Father/Son discount.  

AND for the moms and hockey sisters out there-Cassie and the PoleCats will be putting on a “Work the Pole like a Cat” seminar to help learn the fine art of pole dancing.  Whether you are looking to get in shape or hoping to teach your daughter a way to pay for college since you blew the savings on travel hockey, this is a great opportunity for you!

Registration is by invite only because, well, we don’t like some of you.  Those of you that are invited will receive an email, but due to space being limited we will need a reply within 24 hours so we can invite our second choices if you can not attend. 

I look forward to seeing you there and hope the Moms can attend the lesson-I am getting the velour sweat suit and glitter back out for this one!

 Ima

Congratulations Bombers on winning the Championship at the Lets Get Bombed Tournament!Here is a recap of the games:Game 1:  Bombers vs Sisters of Mercy Rehab 1-0  WinThis was quite a shock as the team was not made up of players in rehab; it was actually Nuns from the Sisters of Mercy that were in rehab!  This was a very close game and went right down to the wire when a hook put on Sister Teresa by Isaah went unnoticed causing Dee to pick up the puck, skate end to end and score with 1 minute remaining!  Hallelujueah!Game 2: Bombers vs DCC Delinquents 4-3 WinThis was quite a hard fought game and quite eventful.  We lost a player, Midge, after Midge was arrested for lewd conduct after expressing displeasure at a call by making some rather inappropriate motions with the stick toward the ref.  Down a player, we continued on going down two goals at the start of the third period.  The game became quite rough and after a brutal hit, a brawl broke out.  Luckily, it involved two of their best players and the guards removed them from the ice as violating terms of their probation/parole and we were able to come back and score three times to win!Game 3: Bombers vs Silver View Grannies 8-0 winThis game was definitely lopsided as it was a noon game and the Grannies were tired after being up since noon.   Coach had spent too much time in the beer garden and after what he believed was a missed call and a late hit, he leapt from the top of the boards and “747’d” the ref flat to the ice. Unfortunately, the police escorts were still there and took a complaint filed against the coach.  When the police interviewed the crowd, the Bomber families were not able to remember what happened.  Way to protect the coach and hedge your bets for next year!  Good Job and Great Team Spirit! Ogie thanks all of you and will not forget your loyalty!  Unfortunately however,  Ogie was not able to be bailed out in time for the championship game and the assistant captains-Coach Itt and Coach Offsides had to step up and take over for the remainder of this game. Championship game: Rematch of the Bombers vs the Sisters of Mercy. This game we won by forfeit after the Sisters has spent too much time in the Beer and Wine garden and were unable to play in the game.  That Sister Celeste makes a mean martini! Bombers are crowned tournament champs!  The big highlight of the tournament was the performance put on by Cassie & the Pole Cats.  The really out did themselves this weekend with their take on the movie “Xanadu”, wore roller skates and performed “You have to believe we are Tragic”.  I am not sure if they just didn’t know the words to the song or were making some sort of statement about the season.  Either way, it was a one of a kind performance-who has seen roller skates on ice?  What a talented bunch of girls and our team would have not been complete without them! Thank you Cassie & the Pole Cats! 

The tournament went off pretty smoothly!  We made $158 from the raffle baskets!  And a lot of positive things did come out of the tournament this weekend.   The biggest is that after a long heartfelt conservation at the jail with Sister Marguerita, the Coach has decided to take a break and join the sisters for some help and counseling.  This is a definite 1^st (of 12) step in the right direction for Ogie.  The other positive is that the Season is Over!  We can all move forward and put the missteps of this season behind us.  Due to Coach not being available the “after party” at Hooter’s has been put on hold pending his arraignment.  We also are hoping Midge will be free to join us as well at that time.    I will let you all know when it has been rescheduled as the coach would like to get the team together one last time to celebrate the season

 

Let’s Get Bombed Tournament Team Update

Team-

Just a quick update on the Tournament this weekend. 

I have EXCITING news.  Our corporate sponsor, Shady Sam’s Bail Bonds, has come through Big Time for us this season!   Due to them having a major increase in revenue this season due to being the Preferred Bail Bond Company of another local team, they have made a very generous donation for our Hospitality Room!  We have enough to supply Cheeze Whiz, Slim Jims, and Kool Aid for all the players in the entire tournament!! Even better yet, I have taken the liberty to set up a Beer & Wine garden in the outside smoking area and will have Old Style beer for the Dads and Boone’s Farm for the Moms.  All Free!   Due to past problems, there is a six drink limit-we do have children to drive home after all!

AND, that is not all!  Shady Sam’s has a couple clients with former higher level hockey playing experience that, thanks to a donation from my expected settlement from Dick’s company, have agreed to play for us this weekend.  Jr Obvious and Mackerel will not be playing, but

will still be contributing by keeping the water bottles full, pucks cold, and towels available.   Coach says it is all about the “W” and the players must contribute how he feels best helps the entire team and the odds of a nice shiny trophy for him to ash his cigar in.  

Raffle baskets are ready to go-thank you to those that donated.  Besides the Pole Cats merchandise we have an awesome Bait & Tackle basket, A Craft with Canvas basket, and an excellent Pork Rinds treat basket.  

This is going to be the best tournament ever and I think we are really going to bring the house down and show everyone what Omaha Bombers are about!

Don’t forget the post-tournament Team Party at HOOTERS!  Go Bombers!!!!!!!!

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02.2208 Update

Team Update CONGRATULATIONS BOMBERS!  The Team took FIRST PLACE this past weekend in Kalamazoo’s Kiss My Kazoo Tournament.   The final results were: Bombers vs Kalamazoo Kazoos 1-0 winBombers vs Lake Eerie Monsters 2-1 winBombers vs Detroit Teamsters 3-2 winBombers vs Flint Stones 4-0 to Win in the Championship!All the boys did well and Hugh came up Huge with a shut out in the championship game!Excellent work boys!!! Entertainment between periods was again provided by our lovely Cassie & the Pole Cats.  The girls’ performance to Whip It was phenomenal.  They totally outdid themselves, and the officials seemed to forgive them for melting some ice with the hot wax portion of the performance. I would like to Thank the PoleCats for letting me join the performance as the centerpiece Disco Ball.  Hopefully the marks will not scar! Cassie was absolutely stellar, not only in her choreography, but in her handling of a skirmish between two dads that almost came to blows in the stands!  Quick thinking with the “flash” Cassie, way to keep the peace and show your dedication to the team!  Love Ya Cassie! Now, back to some serious business.  It has come to my attention that some posts on a local blog have called our team into question and think we are a joke.  I would like to personally assure those people we are no such thing!  We take things very seriously on this team and while we have had issues that have become public there are many more we have not shared.  When Mackerel’s father was sent to rehab after trying to choke the mediator he had been visiting after a heated debate over politics, we did not make light of that!  He is doing well by the way, and as soon as the meds are completely stable he will be back out with the rest of us, although they are considering holding him until after the elections.  When Tuffy’s mom lost her hearing briefly after a tragic ear-stapling-for-weight-loss incident, the team really banded together, helping make signs to communicate with her and Cassie even loaned her a pair of team colored ear muffs to hide the gangrene.   We are a close knit bunch despite the unfortunate situations we have endured.  So to those of you who think we are a joke or that we are similar to others, I can assure that is not true! If anyone else out there is also going through these things, then it is a coincidence and one that must be met with understanding for their situation.  Maybe we will inspire them to get help or change their ways.   But as a team we are unique, we are strong and we are a family (except you Dick, I am still mad at you).  Go Bombers! Don’t forget!  The home “Let’s Get Bombed” tournament is coming up the last weekend in February.  To those of you that signed up, thank you!  The rest have been recruited and assigned a duty.  Thank you to Cassie for donating the signed Pole Cats photos & costumes for the raffle! As soon as we can retrieve them from under Maynard’s bed we can get them packaged up to raffle. This is going to be an awesome event and a great way to end the season!   Lets all keep working hard to make this a success!  As I said, I did have to go a bit outside of the box to find teams, but this will be a fun event and a once in a lifetime opportunity!  Some of the featured guests are the DCC Delinquents, The Sisters of Mercy Rehab team, the Silver View Grannies, and the School of the Blind (this should be exciting as the kids will use a special puck programmed to beep).   Stay tuned for more updates!-Ima J  

02.12.08 UPDATE

Team-

This has been a rough weekend, so before the rumors start and you hear it elsewhere, I am going to address this so you hear it directly from me.   My husband, Richard Weed, and I have separated.   This weekend I was taking Issah and my other boy, Blue, to an activity on my way to the chiropractor when after dropping them off I realized I had forgotten my coupon.  I drove home, and imagine my surprise to walk in and hear “Oh Indie!  Oh Indie!  Make a Deposit” coming from my bedroom.  Sure enough, there was my husband and Cassie.  First, Cassie, my husband would only pass for Indiana Jones if he had been played by John Candy and not Harrison Ford.  Second, you need to keep your little fetishes and bank games at home, and not in my house.  To avoid potential embarrassment to my sons in case you show back up with your little whip, I have moved with the boys into the house of my parents, the Horre’s.  I am working on taking back my maiden name as well, because I am painfully aware of how “Ima Ragg” sounds.

That said, I have a lot of thinking to do as this season has been very hard on me personally.  I am a good god-fearing moral woman, and between this business with Cassie (explains her angry outburst the other day at me, doesn’t it?), the business with Captain and his “male companion” Slingy, the business with Pepe and the interviews we had to endure with INS, and the business with Mr. Kristoff treating this team as his own personal eharmony.com service, I am questioning if I am going to be able to continue on with this team.  The stress is getting to me, and after discovering the tryst going on in my house this weekend, my muscle in my neck has re-injured itself and the chiropractor has informed me that I will probably continue to need this neck brace for another 3-4 months, as if the past six of wearing it hasn’t been bad enough!  So, if there are any takers to step up to the plate and finish this season out, let me know. 

Now, on to business, since this is still my responsibility.   I will be forwarding out the schedule for the Kalamazoo Kiss My Kazoo Bantam D tournament.   This should be a fun weekend and good competition for the boys.  The Polecats will be performing as well.   They are going “old school” and have put together a routine to Devo’s “Whip It”.  I can hardly wait. We will be staying at the Pit Stop Motel which has a restaurant attached for convenience.  I believe it is called the “Burgers & Bait” Diner.

Next up is the Home Tournament we have been waiting for.  I will pass around the sign up sheet at practice.  Due to limited interest I have went outside the box for teams to come play so we can have a home tourney this season. 

See you at practice.

  Ima

Team Manager

 02.04.08 UPDATE

Sorry for the delay in getting this update put out for everyone.  But there is a lot of work to do managing a team, and having to do it all by myself since no one else will step up and help-well thank you for your patience.  I also had to decide whether or not to continue to post the results of our games.  Since, as you know, the team has had a rough season I am not sure that we really need to post the results for the world to see.  Maybe some things are best kept to ourselves, but since I have had emails wanting the info, I have decided to continue on and post the game summaries.  We’ll see.

The B22As (nicknamed the Bombers) came in last in the Mississippi Mud Tournament.  It was a very difficult tournament and the reffing was just horrible.  Issah is doing better now after being boarded viciously and going head first into the boards.  To those of you that clapped when I fell carrying him off the ice, that was not appreciated!  But he is doing better now and will be able to play in our next tournament.

Game results:

Vs. Pickens Gins   1-5 loss

Vs. Eden Adams 0-6 loss

Vs. Star Mudpies 2-10 loss

Vs. Rolling Fork Rednecks  2-4 loss

Vs. Yazoo City Rebels 3-8 loss

The boys (and girls) played a tough game and skated to the end and didn’t let up.  We are looking forward to playing in the new league we have signed up for and I have some info that will be coming out on our first tourney in Kalamazoo.  Given the differences in age and the prior history of the team we have dropped down a few levels to even the odds.  The coach should also be able to be on the bench since I do not think the suspensions will carry over into the new league. I do not believe the new league has the Zero Tolerance Rule, they go by  the “Point-oh-eight” Rule. Anything under that and the coach is clear… Good news all the way around!

On the bright side, and for what you have all been waiting for: Cassie & the Pole Cats took home top honors in the Cheerleading Mud Wrestle-off.  And “off” is exactly what happened to a few uniforms, but that may have been what put us over the top in points!  Cassie & the Pole Cats defeated the Gulf Gators in the championship in an exciting victory that left the entire place standing in ovation!  The Girls have done a great job and been a real asset to the team.  I am looking forward to their rendition of Xanadu that they will be putting on at our home tournament next month!  Congratulations Girls, you did us all proud!

-Ima Ragg

Team Manager

 01/14/08

Team

I am so sorry for the delay but I have great news. You all know that due to the problems we had before and our getting a late start putting this team on the ice we did not get registered for Midwest League Play soon enough. I have been working hard and have finally found a League that will accept us.

We will begin play this weekend in the Roseau Mn Northern Bantam League. I know this is further away than most of you wanted to go but it was our closest option.

It’s not a bad drive, take I-29 North past Grand Forks to Hwy 11, Go East approx. 70 Miles.

I will have more information on the teams in the league shortly.

 

Ima

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12/31/07 B-22A Update

Results from the Appalachian Cousin Cup Tournament

B22a vs. Earnhart Racers  0-3 loss

B22a vs. Cole Miners   0-1 loss

B22a vs. Skoal Brewers 1-8 loss

B22a vs. Deliverance Hogs 1-0 win (Consolation Game)

Hello Team!

The B22a’s had a rough weekend playing “up” a division in the Cousin Cup tournament, however they were able to still take home some hardware.

A few highlights:

In game two Pretty Boy took a vicious hit from behind and had to be removed from the ice.  His hair gel had formed some sort of glue to his helmet so they medics had no choice but to saw it off of his head so he may be examined.  Luckily, his little brother Bucket Head was along for the trip and had his gear.  Pretty Boy refused to wear his brother’s helmet since it didn’t look cool, so Bucket Head was able to play the remainder of the tournament in his brother’s place.  Thank you Bucket Head for filling in!

In game three Hugh Jass scored the teams only goal when clearing a puck out of the zone during a line change, it ricocheted off the penalty box doorl, over the shoulder of the other goalie and into the net.

And finally, in the Consolation Game, after Midge was injured trying to climb over the glass to avoid being hit, Tuffy started an altercation with the opposing teams bench.  Dee soon joined in and a brawl ensued.  Luckily after the penalties were handed out, the opposing team did not have enough men left on the bench to continue and they had to forfeit the game.  Thanks to an early goal by Ben Derbefor we won!  That was the most exciting 3 ½ minutes of game play I have ever seen!  Good Job Team!

I would also like to thank Cassie & the Girls for their exciting cheerleading routine.  Unfortunately, Maynard who was helping with costume design did not realize the effects the cold weather would have on the Mini-pucks and paste he was using as the top portion of the girls costumes.  Let’s just say a wardrobe malfunction occurred.  But the crowd was very pleased and rained down money on the girls.  After we were able to collect the change from the ice, I counted it and we have enough for a Pizza Party!  Please let me know if you prefer Jacks or Tombstone!   This malfunction also saved the girls from upsetting the home team crowd as the locals felt the lyrics of “Say hoooo-ho-ho” was insulting to their mother/sister/cousin (And boy was that woman mad!).  Excellent Job Girls!

On a sad note, I would like to extend a heartfelt Get Well Soon to Captain Obvious.  Unfortunately, he did not realize how a man in tights & a Speedo may be looked at by the locals, and had an unfortunate encounter with them at the local B & B (burritos & beer).  I wish him a speedy recovery, and have used some of the team funds to purchase a special pillow for him as well.  Also, I must ask that Mr. Kristoff and his friend Sling refrain from reminding the Captain he has a pretty mouth!

Thanks to Shady Sam’s for the accommodations at the Full Pot RV Camp & Shelter!  And in two weeks we are off the Mississippi Mud Tournament.  I have taken the liberty of signing up Cassie & the Girls in the Cheerleaders Mud Wrestling Tournament with a cash prize of $100 and trophy!  So practice up Girls!

See you at practice,

Ima Ragg

Team Manager

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Update from the Holiday Party at the Indacreas’

Tank you for enjoying the holiday party wit us at de trailer park. Some of de neighbors weren’t too happy and called de police a couple time. De first time, Cassie and de girls talked de cops into drawing chalk outlines of dem in de parking lot. Kept the cops busy for quite a while, I am sure they didn’t want to mess up de lines. Good going girls. De second time dey show, dey weren’t too happy but Mr. Kristof had had too many Busch’s outa his big blue cooler and told the officer, “I thought you said you didn’t want to come back out here again tonight?” We had to break things up soon after dat.

It looks like da Secret Santa gift exchange was a real hit.Awards were given for Best Gift and Worst Gift.

Best Gift went for the Ipod & Inhaler combo given to Isaiah Ragg-Weed. (It came in handy when he started having breathing problems during the cheerleading routine at the Cousin Coup Tourney.)

Worst gift was the bean dip supplied by Mrs. Leap da Rio. Torrey and his kid eat too much and we all paid de price. I am taking Fabreeze donations.

Toulouse Indacrease

toulouseindacrease@hotmail.com

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Reminder

Just a reminder of the Holiday Team Party this weekend at Mr Indacrease’s.  There will be a wide range of activities and we will be bar-b-queing. As you know, the kids drew names for “Secret Santa” presents to exchange at the party.  I have made a list of what each player is asking for to help out:

1)      Hugh Jass-  New Breezers 3XL

2)      Toulouse Indacrease Jr –Propane heater for his bed room

3)      Carpe Diem- Commemorative copy of Dead Poets Society DVD

4)      Pepe Leap Da Rio- Conjugal visit with Kelsey Peterson

5)      Marco Misdanet- Eye Glasses

6)      Isah Ragg-Weed- New case for his Ipod & Inhaler

7)      Mick Onduk- 5 session pass at Miss Manners Grooming School

      Yuri Tarded-Hooked on Phonics

9)      Ben Derbefor- The book “Déjà vu-Fact or Fiction”

10)   Jr. Obvious-A chauffeur to games (I guess he is scared of heights)

11)   Cal Offsides- Dance Lessons

12)   Pretty Boy Kristoff- Hair Gel and a case of Axe body spray

13)  Mackerel Chezhedd- Signed campaign poster from Mitt Romney

14)   Dee Fenceman- Pink gloves

15)   Midge Itt-“Baseball Juice” aka Human Growth Hormone

16)   Tuffy Indabox-More Foil

17)  Maynard Torrey- being the wardrobe coordinator for Cassie & the girls this season

See you all Saturday!  Happy Holidays!

-Ima Ragg, Team Manager

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B22A update-

B22A took 2^nd place this weekend in the Liberal KS Yellowbrick Road tournament, losing the first place spot to the Liberal Courageous Lions in a hard fought 0-7 loss.

Other scores are as follows:

B22A vs. the Brainard Scarecrows: 2-1

B22A vs. the Bleeding Heart Tinmen  4-3

B22A vs. the Mighty Munchkins 1-0

Congratulations team!

Team-

After the unfortunate events among our parents this weekend, I have called an emergency meeting at Mr. Indacrease’s home.  He has a Pop-Up camper but has assured me the picnic table is large enough for the team.  Dress warm and I will forward the directions later today.   We need to have a serious discussion about the events of this weekend from our parents.   I am going to explain them for those of you who were not able to attend so that we do not have to re-hash them tonight.

1)     We need to control the consumption of alcohol. This weekend Mackerels father had to go to the Emergency Room after he was found passed out, floating belly up in the hot tub.  This could have been a serious tragedy had Pepe’s mother not gotten up early for swim practice.

2)     If you are having outside “dalliances” please leave them at home.  There is NO need to bring them on the road.  Unfortunately this weekend while Mr. Kristoff was at what I will only refer to as an adult shop with another mother on the team (again, keep it at home) a mystery woman in a white tube top mini dress with a fringed denim jacket and matching boots came in and started an altercation.  Apparently over Mr. Kristoff.  This all went on while Ilean, who I thought was the only lady in Mr. Kristoff’s life, is home recovering from a medical emergency. 

Our team is now receiving a bill from Dr. Jock’s for the merchandise that was damaged during the melee. There were also injuries as the floor apparently became covered in some cinnamon scented substance which other customers slid on.  Apparently it was quite a tussle as at our last game the bleachers were just vibrating with rumors.  However, this is quite serious as one of our mothers was taken into custody for assault with a battery.

3)     This brings me to carrying appropriate money with you at all times.  Due to the charges brought, in an effort to keep a player out of Child Services, I had to use team money to bail out the mother taken in on the assault charges. Because they are only pending, I am not using her name, but if you want to know ask Mr. Kristoff as I am sure he has a lot of explaining to do.

This brings me to the good news/bad news part of my update.  The bad news is that because of the fight in the “Adult Store” Hoover has pulled their sponsorship.  Something about given the proclivities of our parents, they do not think the logo “We Suck, How About You” is a message they want us to represent.   Good news is that I was able to find a new corporate sponsor for the team through Shady Sam’s Bail Bonds.  They will be replacing the current Hoover logo (which I need turned in tonight to avoid fines) with their logo of ” Better Than Soap on a Rope” which will now be proudly displayed on our “butt plates” for our jerseys.

Be on time tonight! We have a lot to cover.  We will also discuss our upcoming tournament, The Cousin Cup Tournament, in Appalachia.

Sincerely,

Ima Ragg

Team Manager

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Team-

Just a few updates before our next trip to Liberal KS for the Follow the Yellow Brick Road Classic.  Flounder said we can all follow him, he knows the way.

First-Good News!  We have a corporate sponsor!  They will be paying for our lodging this weekend at the House of Cheese, Taxidermy, and Sleeping Rooms.  So we can save our $19.99 per night!  Hoover will be sponsoring us and in return we are going to wear corporate “butt plates” on our jerseys with the logo “We Suck, How About You”.

This is a great opportunity for the team!

 Second, we still have people who owe money.  Mr. Kristoff, while I am sure termite treatment on Ilean’s leg is quite expensive, we all do have medical emergencies and I do need at least some payment.  Upon closer inspection, after I scraped the old gum off, the IHOP gift cards expired in 2005.  

Last, I would like to thank all of you for the nice holiday gifts.  The coaches enjoyed the case of High Life and the Beer Nuts.  And I think the Wax & Midol gift basket you all put together was very thoughtful and I will treasure it.  I may need the Captain to help me with the wax later back at the lodge…. Wink wink.

Thank you again for all your work, we are still working on Cheerleaders, but some Mom’s have volunteered to pitch in this weekend until a true squad can be found.  Ladies, please remember to pack our matching sweat suits so we can look our best!

See you this weekend!

Ima Ragg,

Team Manager

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We got mixed messages from the cheerleader try-out’s.

 

Tuesday 12.11.2007

Sad news from the Bantam B-22a Cheerleader Tryouts:

De FNB Girls did not show so we were lef wit a rather large group of…. girls. While performing the pyramid, one of the cows tipped and the group  went through a window into the Hooters.  There were casualties. Two orders of hotwings and three pitcher of miller light fell from da table to their death below. Two table and a chair was crushed to splinters. Hawkins construction will be coming in the morning to fill in de hole lef by the slide.

Dry land went well but Coach Ogie was hard to find. He turn up later with a new girl friend. She had more feet than teeth. I heard that he find her at Wal-Mart. Special thanks to the guy that help clear snow from the lot.

 

Toulouse Indacrease

toulouseindacrease@hotmail.com

Toulouse should have been inside for the FNB girls rendition of Brickhouse, literaly.

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12.09.07 Update

B-22a Shocked the Cheezwiz crowd by stealing the Championship Trophy. Mick Onduct was tackled at the door and returned the gold plated can to the table before the final’s only to skate with the cherrised piece of hardware an hour later after the teams 5-1 victory.

Results 

B-22a  7     Ubet    0       

B-22a  3     Barebutt Mooners   2

B-22a  5    Cheezwiz Crackers 0

B-22a  5    Arkansaw Hillary’s 1

Coach Ogelthorpe was proud of the teams play even though he had to watch the final from the locker room door after close lining a ref he seem to have known from before during the pregame handshake.

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Bantam B-22a cheerleading Tryouts

Due to intres, der will be cheerleader try out Tuesday night in Hooter’s parking lot during Dry land. Yes it will be cold out but that half de fun. Requirements:

1. You mus be female.
2. You mus weigh less than Ogie.

Tryouts wil be held in bikini’s. Judges for event will be:

Toulouse Indacrease

Flounder

Captain Obvious

Mongo Torrey

Mr. Kristof

Sling_Blade

Ogie will be der if he sober enough.

(Someone tell Captain O. dat swimwear limited to contestant only.)

Name of Squad to be announced later. Suggestions include:

Da Bombs

The B-22a Hockey Hotties

What the?

Don’t look

And

OMG

Squad name will be determined based upon da winning contenstants appearance.

Special invite go out to Cassie and the FNB girls. Please come out and bring de standard up!

Tank you,

 Toulouse Indacrease

toulouseindacrease@hotmail.com

——————————————————————————– B-22a First Tournament

We will play in our first tournament this weekend in Cheezwiz Wi.  We will be staying at Fred’s Motel and Storm Door Center on Rt 461 1/2 . Room rates are King N/S w/heat $69, Dble N/S W heat $68, Pullout in the Lobby $55 and Poolside lawn chair w/o heat $32. I need your credit card numbers, or money orders by tomorrow.

Also I have us playing in the Follow the Yellow Brick Road Classic in Liberal KS. the weekend of 12/21-23. Flounder has offered to drive because he says he knows the way.

Thanks,  Ima

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Message from the Team Manager Ms. Ragg

I am working on a few Tournaments for us. We have practice tonight at 11:45 p.m. Benson and tomorrow at 4:36 p.m. in Fremont. That will be our regular times also we have Monday’s at 7:57 in Kearney. Dry land will be held on Tuesday’s in the Hooters parking lot. I need your first payment of $235.99 by Monday’s practice and who ever put $50 in food stamps and $75 in IHOP coupons plus the used Dr. John’s gift card in the envelope at practice, I need your name to give your account credit. I will have more information as soon as I get it and I will have my account payed as soon as my kids sperm donor dad, Dill Weed gets the child support check here.

Thanks everyone.

Ima

2007-2008 Roster

Head Coach Ogie Ogelthorpe

Asst. Coach TBD

Asst. Coach TBD

Toluse Indacrease Jr. (G)

Hugh   Jass                   (G)

Carpe   Diem

Maynard   Torrey

Pepe   Leapdario

Marco    Misdanet

Isah        Ragg-Weed

Tuffy       Indabox

Mick        Onduk

Yuri         Tarded

Junior     Obvious

Mackerel     Chezhedd

Ben             Derbefor

Cal         Offsides

Pretty Boy  Kristof

Dee            Fenceman

Midge        Itt

Isah’s mom has stepped forward to be team manager. Thanks Ima!!!!!!!!

Schedule to be posted shortly.

Thanks to everyone who came out and special thanks to the guys who helped the ref out of the manure pile after that waved off goal in the scrimmage.

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Emergency Try-outs will be held Saturday 5 a.m. at Zig Peterson’s farm pond. Go 14 West on County 12, turn right on the one lane gravel road, left at the center point irrigator to the pond.

 Fee’s will be waived.

Coach Ogie Ogelthorpe will conduct the try-out.

Rules will be strictly followed.

The highest graded first 15 players and 2 goalies will be taken. All others will go back to house, take an offer from across town, bitch and whine to the nearest Board Member, threaten legal action or kiss enough ass to have some other kid bumped.

The team projected team budget will be posted on the fence near the pond.

A parents code of conduct will also be posted, if you cannot agree to the code please pull your player off the ice and try not to spray rocks on everyone else’s cars as you speed away.

The final hour of try-outs will be a scrimmage and we have enlisted a referee to help control things. Due to the fact there are no Boards at the pond, Zig has fabricated an Ice walker for the ref and any puck hitting it is still in play.

Checking another player into the neighbors Cow pasture will result in bonus points on the evaluation sheet.

Please bring a birth certificate, proof of insurance, valid rabies vaccine records and a water bottle.

Assistant Coaches will be picked after the roster is finished.

That is all……….